Monday, February 13, 2012

Anonymous Adventures ep. 7

Please note that the Aika Harugii unit you bought is absolutely related to this unit. Please do not attempt to switch their genders, send them to a nearby hospital for transsexual operations and mess with them. This is a male unit so bear with it.


Information

Name: Ryuu Harugii
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Height: 5'3"
Character Item(s): Naginata, Daggers, Pocky, anything related to chocolate, and proximate sharp objects

Calling him names like "carrot-head", "carrot-top" and stealing his Pocky will lead to physical injuries. If you are sent to a hospital due to this lame reason, that won't be our fault anymore.

This Ryuu unit you've just purchased is absolutely different compared to the Aika Harugii. (Yes, because it's a boy) But take note that some of her characteristics are similar with Ryuu unit, only there are slight differences. This unit is known to be very exclusive and famous after the Aika Harugii. This is also the most popular unit, so many female customers are raiding our store just to get this expensive unit. 

Ryuu unit is composed of many characteristics. We advise you to read them carefully because Ryuu unit is not an easy-to-get type. If you are a female person who ordered this and wanted a guy's attention all day, this... would be your very unlucky opportunity.

As you should know, this guy appears mysterious, silent and calm as default. He will be sitting cross-legged on the floor holding a small red box containing thin chocolate sticks he would chew, or even while playing with the PlayStationPortable device. He's a silent type commonly like his sister. The looks of him is telling you that you should NOT disturb his memento, or else take the risk of facing The Look. 

And of course, he is a sporty athlete and a talented dancer.

Let us describe each characteristic of this character and you must read them carefully.

-Silent & Mysterious (default)
-Little Devil
-Demon/Bloodlust
-Dominant
-Serious/Brutal
-Tsun-Tsun
-Out of Character

Silent & Mysterious: Ryuu's default personality all the time. It is stated like this: In this mode, he gets the opportunity to say intellectual stuff, reconstructing fragments and saying unsolved clues. They say he tends to be scary when narrating mysterious stories. This mode also describes his level-headed, composed and calm persona. Also this is why he is "hard to get".

Little Devil: You may think your Ryuu unit is a silent type all the time. But take it to the casual side (how he acts towards his friends and his surroundings) He is activated in this mode mostly when he sets pranks secretively. Sinister pranks. He and the Aika unit often work together to implement them. When you turn your back on him during an ordinary day, slightly turn your head behind so you will see his green eyes transforming into a pair of yellow lasers plus that smirk on his face. Or if he sees you, you'll see him staring at you half seductively and half playfully. Part of you wanted to know what he's up to but in the end you'll never know. He's also fund of blackmailing people, so you better watch out.

Demon/Bloodlust: This is a serious matter. If the Aika unit goes out late at night holding a cleaver then appears in front of your bed covered in blood, the Ryuu unit is much more deadlier. He can appear randomly. The reason behind his demonic personality is a bit hard to explain. There were reports that he has surprise-killed teenagers, mostly psychopaths, whores, assholes etc. He can appear anywhere he likes, even on your attic where he's there staring down at you without you knowing it. It would be worse if you see a bloody Aika unit in front of you and the bloody Ryuu unit cornering you while holding any kind of sharp blade. You will see that his eyes have turned crimson with black, thin and straight pupils. This mode is most feared.

Dominant: Ryuu unit is resourceful and powerful towards words and actions at the same time. H solves problems in a jiffy, enlightens your mood, and uses strong words. The aura around him might make you wonder about his wisdom. When it comes to sport, it is really hard for him to face such strong opponents but will think of strategic ways to enhance his performance, that also includes the academic ones.

Extra Note: In the insignificant description of Dominant mode, watch your back and keep your eyes open. Because he somehow likes a certain girl. A girl who is shy, timid, clumsy and not straight-forward (much more passive than the Aika unit). If you're lucky, you might find yourself pinned against the wall by this unit and that lustful and seductive look on his eyes. If I were you, don't give in. Make a plan immediately or... if that's your choice, do that 'sexy time' you teenagers wanted to do.

Serious/Brutal: The Ryuu unit tends to be like this especially when you put him in an extremely bad mood. Similar to the Aika unit, he will blurt out very strong words when you make him really mad. His expression is serious and angry, much more powerful than the Aika unit. There's no stopping this mode but himself. Give him time to cool off and give him space. 
If you make him more more more mad, there'll be tendencies for physical injuries, which he will do seriously.

Tsun-Tsun: Ryuu's Tsun Tsun mode level is less active than the Aika unit. Like the female unit, he sometimes tends to get annoyed, especially to stupid people who ask questions with obvious answers. He will give you sarcastic answers if you do. When flattered, he tends to blush with an annoyed face. But he's not like his sister who'll form tiny tears on her eyes when teased and extremely probed. To all female people (whores, sluts and prostitutes) who wanted to play with this unit, please be warned that the Ryuu unit won't respond. He'll push you away and tell you to find someone else. If you beg, you'll end up getting into trouble. If you try to kiss and probe him, he'll give you The Look and The Ultimate Pissed Off Guy Move. And yes, he also does that to girls, too.
And for yaoi fans, if you think a guy would kiss and probe him, too, The Look and The Ultimate Pissed Off Guy Move will be upgraded from Level 1 to Level 5.
He's more of a seme if you ask me. If you want gay relationships, he is not included in the picture. If you think he would, face The Look LV 5 and The Ultimate Pissed Off Guy Move LV 5 (both moves can also be upgraded when driven crazy).

Out of Character: The Out of Character characteristics of the Ryuu unit describes the Uke personality. This mode is extremely rare.

Rules To Be Read Carefully, Seriously

1.) Ryuu unit is to be not disturbed during his leisure and when he's busy.
2.) Ryuu unit always eats Pocky (chocolate). Do not try or attempt to steal his favorite snack if you don't want to be crushed whether you're a boy or a girl.
3.) Calling him names like "carrot-top" and "carrot-chan" (grave) will lead to physical injuries only to male people. For females, he will flick your noses or foreheads until he sees you crying.
4.) Do not play music containing girly concepts, flirtatious lyrics and cutesy background while he's around.
5.) He and the Aika unit both like chocolate. Even the sight of pudding and cake will boost their lolli/shota (almost)morale.
6.) Taking him into walks will be fine, as long as there are no girls drooling and flashing banners with his name written on them.
7.) During his leisure time, he tends to lay on his stomach with the poker face (kinda shota-like). He'll stare and blink at you without saying anything. Toss a stress ball at him. If you hit him on the face, he'll toss it back at you with full force so you'll fall on the ground.
8.) He always has a Pocky with him. If you depend on him to give you one, he won't. Buy yourself one and do not show it to him.
9.) When his Demon/Bloodlust mode is activated, his eyes are crimson with black thin pupils making him look demonic. He uses his signature naginata for battling (rare). He is definitely a serial killer (like the Aika unit), only his energy has more force. When you see him covered in blood with a crazed face, the only thing to do is run... until he catches you.
10.) Sometimes he is seen licking fresh blood on his fingers or hands.
11.) He is a sporty unit. His main sports are soccer and baseball. You can play a sport with him if you wish.
12.) In his Little Devil mode, he also tends to tease the Aika unit. If you are a tsundere, he might do that to you. If yandere, he'll give you a poker face to get you annoyed.
13.) In Serious/Brutal mode, he'll seriously blurt out words. If you want him to stop, give him space just like what is stated from the description itself, unless you are blind.
14.) Please be warned that his death threats will come true anytime, so you better watch out.
15.) When he is in his Demob/Bloodlust mode, he is sadistic indeed. Be very afraid when you see him stabbing a helpless kid with his naginata and the crazed look on his face. You thought he's just a tsundere, but he also has yandere sides, too.
16.) His knowledge and wisdom level are normal and equal with his emotions. He rarely shows emotions... and that's the problem.
17.) He tends to take things lightly, especially when you're a wuss who whines too much about the small stuff.
18.) Don't make excuses like "Two is better than one" when he declines help, because he can do them himself.
19.) If a group of girls are barging into your house, they cannot simply try to steal your unit.
20.) The Ryuu unit likes to rest. So do not disturb his happy and peaceful tim if you don't wanna face The Look.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: My Ryuu unit doesn't wanna give me Pocky, ramen, chocolate or even cake even though I bought them all! He's so selfish! How can I handle this situation?!
A: Your situation is easy to solve. Next time, do not show those stuff to him.

Q: My Ryuu-kun unit is stealing my Domo-kun plushieee!!! 
A: Uhmm... was that even a question?

Q: Gaaahhh!!! He doesn't wanna give it back! It's mine! 
A: Please insert a valid question.

Q: How can I make my Ryuu unit stop killing everyone?
A: You cannot stop him. It's up to him to stop. You'll end up soaring up high in the air dressed in a white nightgown, a pair of fake angel wings attached on your bag, a fake halo on top of you head and a small harp that doesn't even form a melody.

Q: Oh my gawd! My Ryuu unit has a surprise for me!Could you tell me what it is??
A: I'm afraid I can't... since he usually takes home real vital organs from real people...

Q: Uh-oh... I think my Ryuu unit is pissed off. Why would this happen?
A: It's either you're watching a cutesy music video with cutesy and flirty lyrics and some girls belly dancing exposing some skin, watching a music video with girls wearing weird make up that make them look like clowns or aliens, you disrupted his peaceful time, or.... forced him to spend a sexy time with you.

Q: I heard he likes this girl, you know..? The one passive than the Aika unit? Who is she, anyway?
A: It's a secret. His Dominant mode might activate if he sees this girl.

Q: If I buy both Ryuu and Aika units, would I get a discount, a coupon, consolation prize, raffle ticket or something?
A: No. You have to get the Drei Musume unit first and unfortunately, it's out of stock. The shipping takes approximately five to seven months of delivery...

Q: TELL ME WHO IS THIS GIRL HE LIKES!!!
A: Please insert a valid question.

Q: Waahh!! My Ryuu unit just flicked my head and it hurts! 
A: Since this is not a question, I'm gonna answer it. That's what you get when you're messing with him and you're lucky you're a girl.

Q: Oh my gawd! What if my Ryuu unit fell for the Aika unit instead?
A: What in the name of Merlin's beard is this?! Did we send a Ryuu unit with unfixed settings?! Please call our hotline number and get our delivery men to get him immediately for fixtures!!

For more questions, comments and suggestions, please contact Dr. Quack-Quack XIII with the cell number and hotline number provided behind this manual.

We hope you enjoyed your new Ryuu unit! If you have any problems, don't hesitate to call us. 




Friday, February 3, 2012

Anonymous Adventures ep. 6

After reading the Drei Musume guide, here's another for one of my primary OC's :D

Note: This is a request from someone.

Thank you for purchasing the Aika Harugii unit! This special product is the perfect model for your daily needs. Just read this instruction manual to answer all your questions just in case your mouth is already stuffed with various types of questions: either useful or vague.

Information
NAME: Momoko Aika Harugii
AGE: 16 (approximate)
HEIGHT: 5'0"
CHARACTERISTICS: Meganekko (glasses girl), Tsun-tsun
RACE: Human
CHARACTER ITEM/S: Cleaver (hatchet) and extremely and deadly sharp objects

Now that you owned this cute teenage girl (wearing a pair of glasses), please note that if you are a male customer, you should seriously give respect to this unit because it is opposite to your gender. If you are a female customer, please do not drag her to malls, spa, beauty salons or anything else that will make her look like a clown or an alien. Don't even think about finding a suitable partner for her because she'll automatically reject that chosen guy no matter how hot, cute and handsome he looks. 

Aika Harugii unit consists of these characteristics:

-Tsundere (most of the time)
-Calm/Innocent/Warm (rarely)
-Cold/Serious (opposite to the last one)
-Lolli Persona (most of the time)
-Hot-tempered (most of the time)
-Bloodlust (seldom)
-Out of Character (rare)

Each characteristic will be described in a paragraph form so you better read them ONE BY ONE.

Tsundere: Aika tends to be really shy and timid. She's not used to being around people and talking to them through direct eye contact (because she told us personally that she finds it weird). Whenever she's dragged into some mushy stuff or some events that are not her thing, she will scram or sprint away in order to escape. Although her outer appearance is somewhat serious and cold, this outer image affects her personality, too. The information will be in her Cold and Serious mode.

Calm/Innocent/Warm: This female unit is smart. Whenever you're feeling down, she is always there to brighten up your doubts! She gives out helpful advice, boosts your morale and will give you self-confidence and self-esteem. Take note that this is her rare personality. Her default personalities are often tsundere and hot-tempered.

Cold & Serious: Now this is opposite to the last one. When you get her seriously mad, she'll give you the glare and death threats if you made her mood even worse. In this stage she feels down to herself and very serious indeed (just like her brother). She is silent and therefore needs space. When bothered and annoyed, she will yell out curses and brutal words. The only way to stop her is to shut up and don't say anything. Leave her alone and give her some time to cool off. Or face the risk of getting your head chopped literally.

Lolli Persona: Although this girl is a tsundere, calm and cold at the same time. Aika has extreme weaknesses towards cute things, chocolate, and sweet stuff. When she sees a stray kitten, you would see her chibified form running helplessly just to catch that critter. She eats taiyaki, Pocky, strawberry yogurt, cookies and chocolate most of the time. Do not steal them from her. Or else you'll activate her Bloodlust mode.

Hot-Tempered: With the connection to her Tsundere characteristic, she tends to gt spontaneously combusted when you get her mad. When you sexually harass her for example:
-teasing her in pervasiveness  
-poking her "bumps" with a stick
-looking at her chest
-looking at her ass
-tiger kissing her (if you don't know what this means, search it on a dictionary near you or if you are lazy, search it on Google)
-giving her a hickey or a love bite
-anything related to sexually harassing females

It's either she'll do the following:
-Rocket punch
-Chop your head with a cleaver
-Quietly fish her knife out and stab you from behind
-The Ultimate & Epic Pissed Off Female Move
-Slam a mallet on you
-Kick your crotch
-Pwn you to death

So better be careful.

Bloodlust: When in times like this, you won't know she's going out during the late hours of night for no reason according to what your mind thinks. And a few hours later, she'll appear in front of you covered in blood (and she doesn't care), holding a blood-drenched corpse and her cleaver. The demonic look on her eyes indicates you'll be the next victim... you're lucky she's a girl, because if it is a Ryuu Harugii unit, better start digging your own grave then.

Out of Character: This is a bit hard to explain. Aika's out of character actually reveals the hidden sides of her brother: devilish, seductive and dominant. Just like the title, this is out of character. Aika will completely regret her actions once she activated this mode.

Now that the characteristics are described, it's time to read some rules you should follow.

Rules

1.) Aika owns sharp object and they will appear from hammer space. These are considered her valuable possessions after her sweets, stuffed toys and Pocky.
2.) Harass her and get pwned.
3.) When she's sleeping alone, don't even think about sleeping beside her, hug her, tease her, fuck her, and whatsoever. If you did, you'll be beaten up.
4.) If you even try taking her by force, she has her own ideas to get away.
5.) When her Out of Character mode is activated, show her her weaknesses. Cute stuff will oughtta do it.
6.) If it still doesn't work, fine... you can do your own thing of "teasing" her until you see her blushing. BUT DON'T KEEP IT UP! Aika Harugii is forbidden to be taken.
7.) Based from the Drei Musume guide, if it is a Lex Shadowrunner disguised as Aika unit, step on his foot until you hear a masculine voice. If it is the real Aika, face the risk of being charged with sexual harassment.
8.) You can play games with her, just don't take her glasses. She has quite a poor eyesight.
9.) You can play games NOT related to sexual activities for you to be stimulated at!
10.) She tends to get bored easily.
11.) She can do house work so don't worry.
12.) She is fund of animals.
13.) Her default outfit is a school uniform
14.) She hates girly stuff.
15.) She likes eating Pocky (just like what her brother does most of the time)
16.) She is completely aware of her hygiene and the surroundings around her.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Hauuu!~ Aika-chan's cute! Can I feed her?
A: Uhh no... she's a grown-up so she can feed herself.

Q: Whenever I try to make her wear cute outfits, she rejects them. What should I do?
A: We've said it before. Do Not Force Her To Wear Clothes You Want Her To Wear. If You Dare Try Force Her To Wear A Bikini, You'll Shit Brix Because You'll Be Pwned Right After!

Q: Gaaahhh!!! Aika-chan's covered in blood and she wants to kill me! How can I stop her?!
A: That's her Bloodlust mode. To make her stop, simply flash a tray of chocolate, taiyaki, marshmallows and Pocky while holding a very cute kitten or any kind of animal.

Q: I was with her to the park and all of a sudden, I see guys chasing us and holding bouquets! What is this?!
A: Oh brother... because you took her to a public place, she drove a lot of guys and ended up chasing you two. Aika doesn't like to be around people you know...

Q: Can I take her out to a date someday?
A: Uhh... it depends...

Q: Now that you mentioned she has a brother, can I order him, too????
A: YES FINALLY!!! Just pay for your transaction and we'll deliver your unit within ten days and twelve hours.

ENJOY YOUR UNIT! Now that you've read this sick manual, please take note that if she sees this, you'll activate her Hot-Tempered mode and tear this into pieces. So you better watch out.