Monday, September 26, 2011

You Deserve It

You think it is the end. You think it is the final part where you'll be glad for the ending. But there's more. You can't expect happy endings. Because happy endings are becoming so common these days. Let me show you what a real happy ending is:

How would you live in a world full of psychopaths? A certain guy have asked you before. A lot of students say he wasn't a psychopath because he controlled his senses. He and a girl are officially born as siblings. No doubts about it. Doctors got their blood examined and saw traces of their parents' heredity.

Ryuu-san knows they are. He even tasted Aika's blood for proof. How? Simple.

He simply bit her ear until he tasted blood. You know the ear is the part where you know how thin is the layer of skin. Even when you got yourself bitten by someone, it will hurt, really hurt. Oh yeah? If you think it doesn't really hurt, get someone to bite your ear really hard until you feel something dripping.

But that's not a maltreatment for Aika-chan. It's for her to endure the pain and test her stability.

Speaking of Aika, you're wondering if she killed people from one of her days. From the previous blogs, I have doubts she didn't. Those death scenes she mentioned really happened in the school where she studies. She has nothing to do with those deaths. True.

But what I'm about to tell you is that... she really killed some students. She did it for her own malice and protection. She doesn't suffer from syndromes or even psychological diseases either. She is in her senses. She knows what she's doing. It's more on malice and silence combined together.

One tragic night three girls got the hobbies of putting people down for them to go up. Or in other words, crab mentality. They think they're the cutest and the most beautiful and the flawless girls in the universe. Really? High doubts. They may be pretty in the outside but they're damsels possessing hollow brains in the inside.

When they got curious about a girl named Momoko Aika, they thought she looked like a nerd. A bookworm who parasites on the knowledge from history books. But when they find out about her "life as a psychic who can predict fates", they smirked and followed her wherever she goes. They snapped pictures of her reading, tripping, falling and slamming an armchair on a girl. The last part got them shocked.

They almost defined her as a murderer with a failed scheme.

Their next target is Ryuu. They asked themselves how are he and Aika related? Normal people unlike them laugh, because they do have hollow brains.

"HAHAHA! You bitches are brainless!"
"Wahahahaha! Fashion and superiority? A disgusting combination~!"
"You girls are so pretty and sexy I wanna puke!"

Ryuu arrives in the scene. The atmosphere became quiet. The mischievous students suddenly have gone silent and their provokes were replaced by hesitation and fear. Ryuu walked past them without staring at each one of them. His green eyes are bitter and cold.

The three girls were bewildered. What's in Ryuu-san that's making everyone be afraid of him... as if he's almost a god? No, say that in front of his face and he'll jab a dagger on your throat. Seriously.

I can also say he have killed students before like Aika.

He did slashed throats of the warfreaks who always have war and misunderstandings in their brains. Like Aika, he's not a psychopath. He can control his senses. He knows what he's doing.

It's not just throat-slitting, he have done many murderous acts. Only his victims think he's a shadow standing behind them who will stab them on the chest from behind before they knew someone was behind them. There were no witnesses, no CCTV cameras, no patrollers and security guards, and no signs of clues except the blood.

He'll be seen walking somewhere in the darkness with blood staining his shirt, hands, pants and even his face, except his shoes. Because he has a sharp timing of not stepping onto a pool of blood. You'll see his eyes glistening, and his hand close to his mouth to taste the blood.

Let's get back to those girls.

They decided to plot something. With their decisions made, they sneaked towards the basement where Yoake's suicide scene took place. The place is empty. The pool of dried blood are gone. So it was just a place for party people to occupy and make noise.

Because one of them saw Ryuu and Aika walking together towards here. They thought they're on a date, except they're not doing that Holding Hands While Walking thing, they find it extremely disgusting. They don't know about their relationship as official siblings.

Now it's their chance, the one leading the way each gave them weapons for safe defense.

Planks. Dividers. Syringes (the ones they stole from Takashi-sensei's office). Stun guns. And brass-nackers.
They got everything.

The leader barged inside the basement, ready with her two companions. She saw the place empty and no sign of those two. They looked around and there were no other witnesses, and no CCTV security cameras.

When they see a figure standing, it revealed as Aika. She wore her black and blue school uniform.
Dark blue top. Black and blue striped school collar. Black tie. Black skirt with blue vertical streaks at each fold. Black tights and shoes. Her long dark hair flew slowly as her blue eyes stared at them blankly behind the lens of her glasses. She had a pair of white headphones with soft white fur and designed with a pair of cat ears with pink canals. Cute, isn't it?

But what's that you see on her hand? It's a hatchet.

"Moe-moe-chan!" one of the girls cooed.

But Aika just stayed silent. When they saw the hatchet she was holding, the leader pointed a finger at her.

"Sedate her!"

The two girls nodded, holding the syringes. They walked in long strides towards Aika, who just stood there with a hatchet. The two girls grinned maliciously as they uncapped the syringes to show off the deadly and sharp needles.

Aika dropped her hatchet and pulled out two cans of pepper spray uncapped. With a vengeful glare, she sprayed the contents, creating a cloud of pepper spray gas in the area. Aika watched the two girls drop their syringes and cup their eyes, screaming. They fell on their knees and yelled out curses.

"I-itai! Itai! Itai! Nnghh... aarrgh!"

The leader was in rage. She prepared her stun gun when she found her easy target.
\But she was too late.

Aika sprayed more at her direction, making her do the same "Itai!" screams and covering her eyes. Aika picked up the three syringes they stole as she tossed them in a high arc towards another figure.

"What else did they stole?" said a masculine voice.

Aika placed her hands on her hips. "Let's see. They got planks, dividers and stun guns." Her glance went on the brass-nackers. "Hey, aren't those the illegal weapons the bullies owned?"

"Huh. Those stuff?" Ryuu snorted. "They've gone old school."

Aika turned to her left and sees one of the girls standing up and taking a plank. Her eyes were swelling. She frantically stood up and ran towards her, screaming like crazy.

"AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!"

The girl whacked the plank on the blue-eyed girl, who winced in pain. She clutched her head and saw blood.

"Does it hurt? DOES IT?!" The girl mocked. Aika just glared.

"Yes," she smirked. "You're good,"

"R-really?" the girl grinned. Then she opened her mouth wide. Her eyes grew insanely round

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I DID IT! I OUTSMARTED MOMOKO AIKA-CHAMA! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Ryuu's face darkened. He stared at the opposite direction to find the other girl also holding a plank and attempting to slam it on him. His green eyes went on a tube behind him as he grasped it on his fingers and jabbed the material straight through her chest. The girl's eyes opened wide, dropping the plank and struggling between bloody gurgles. Ryuu didn't show any sign of victory (just the same cold and blank face) as he abruptly pulled out the blood-stained tube. The girl fell on the floor with a huge hole on her chest.

The girl (who hit Aika)'s crazy laughter was replaced by bloodcurdling screams.

"What's wrong?" Aika asked in a mocking tone almost similar to Ryuu's. "You don't want to end up like her, do you?"

"Ahahahaha! Why would I be scared of you, Aika-chama? You're bleeding! How are you supposed to pay me back HA?!"

"You may be good," Aika picked up her hatchet.

"Hahahaha! You got some more strength!" the girl laughed. "C'mon! You can do better than that!"

"...but NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" With this, she swung her hatchet and slashed the girl, creating a large gash on her chest. Blood spurted out like a fountain. The poor girl fell on her back, her eyes wide open.

"Nice," Ryuu smirked, holding one of the lethal injections. He drained the last two from the syringes and went to the last one. The three liquid solutions were placed in a test tube and transformed into one mixture.

"Ryuu," Aika blinked. "What's that?"

But he avoided her question, his emerald gaze went on towards the stun guns scattered on the floor.

"Get rid of those. The leader over there is the only one left. She'll try to struggle by taking one of those." he ordered as Aika picked them all up. She tossed the brass-nackers aside and swept off the dividers with her foot. The leader, sprawled on the floor, groaned.

"W-what did you do to them?!"

"They have hollow brains, remember?" Aika replied. "Since you're the one who followed us down here along with your dead companions, we're gonna have to feed you something you'll always deserve." she said calmly and smiled. Her blue eyes looked demonic.

"W-what?"

"Are you done?" Ryuu's voice echoed behind. His footsteps approached.

The leader trembled. She felt Aika's arms help her sit up. But her arms were clinging under her forearms as she sat behind the victim to keep her from struggling.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Relax," Ryuu says mockingly, holding the test tube with the poisonous mixture. "You heard what she said. You're their leader. You led them here to follow us." His lips formed a smirk as the mixture glistened. "How about a taste you'll always deserve?" His eyes gazed on hers. "You need it. It's for the celebration of your failure." He glanced towards Aika, who nodded at him and chuckled.

"N-no!" the leader shook her head. "Y-you can't do this! I-I didn't to---"

"Enough is enough!" he cut her off abruptly. He grabbed her chin and forced her mouth open. The leader screamed as Ryuu spilled the contents of the test tube and forced them down on her throat. He let go and motioned Aika to do the same thing.

She let go as she and the male redhead stood up.

The poor girl lied on her back and trembled, her eyes wide open. She felt her stomach gurgling inside. Then she coughed. She rolled on the floor and then she's in all fours.

And then, on the floor dripped tiny droplets of blood.

The droplets then became bigger. Until the leader is completely vomiting blood and feeling dizzy. She collapsed on the floor and let out faint gasping noises. Her mouth is spilled with her own blood. She clutched at her own stomach and heard it gurgling again.

To her shock, her stomach's skin started tearing up, revealing her intestines and guts. The girl let out a bloodcurdling scream. She tried to push them back inside, but what can she do?

"N-nande...?!"

After a couple of seconds, the girl finally gave in. She fell on her bile, guts, stomach and her intestines drenched in her own blood.

"Ryuu," Aika said. "What was in that test tube?"

"It's a kind of chemical that blows up obstacles and even vital organs," Ryuu replied as he flashed the three empty syringes. "I mixed it up with these three to make the experiment complete. Like this psycho over here, she swallowed the mixture and her insides started to blow up until they tore themselves out of her skin."

Aika shuddered. "W-why didn't you tell me?!"

"Sorry if I scared you, sis." he said teasingly as they retreated. "C'mon, we've got some testing to do."

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Bittersweet: Ryuu's advice

Heh. Why would she trespass in here just to complain about our assignments? This is what we do. Takashi-sensei trained us to control our senses and hire us as the main apprentices. The others are Mikagami Satoko, Satomiya Ash, and the one in general training, Satomiya Mirouni.

That girl earlier was Matsumoto Hikaru. She's two years senior from our age. Eighteen years old (I presume) and the transfer student for two years. It's not like I'm insulting her from the previous chapter. It's just that we're trying to tell her the dark history of this school and she doesn't want to believe us. But then, I tossed those two murder files at her and knew it would prove to her we didn't "made them up".

I respect her opinions, but there's nothing she can do.

How about you? If you want us to stop, how can you live in a school full of psychopaths? The ones who bailed themselves from this school who thought they're free only ended up getting themselves distorted and exposed in public.

They say it is the school's fault. But you should know that the entire village suffers from these syndromes and disease, that's why it only has less than 3,000 population. If you leave the village, that's not really gonna stop the syndrome.
 Because you'll only end up changing for the worst than changing for the best.

If I were you, learn to control your senses and fight the fate. No one lives without fates. And if I am diagnosed with a disease. Psychological disease or a syndrome. I would have rehabilitated myself without causing havoc. I mentioned something about even interpretations and feelings won't work. Yes, it's true. Can you really help a person reform when his mind is already distorted and it is diagnosed for the Level-Five syndrome. There's no stopping it.

Here are the main symptoms of the so-called syndrome:
1.) Unknowing mental disorders.
2.) Weird hallucinations.
3.) Dizziness
4.) Seeing "things".
5.) Suicidal thoughts.
6.) The word 'violence' is always on your mind
7.) Craving for sharp objects
8.) Watching violent movies and playing violent games
9.) Distorted mind
10.) Laughing for no reason
11.) Smashing everything you see around you
12.) Doing things that you abnormally do.
13.) Spitting on everyone for no reason
14.) Talking to psychologists about making them stop, but in the back of your head, you think you're lucky they'll agree so that you can do whatever you want, even acts of violence, and violating the rules when you're not at all.
15.) Screaming in public just to get everyone's attention.
16.) Etching slogans and other stuff related to violence.
17.) Pretending to act innocent when you really want to kill somebody.
18.) Thinking you're always right when you're not at all.
19.) You become TOO emotional/intellectual than you think.
20.) You don't have any idea what the words 'common sense' means.

There's only one remedy: CONTROL YOURSELF BEFORE IT CONTROLS YOU.

Got a problem? I don't care. If it has something to do with us, you can spit it in front of our faces than being a coward.

I've said it before, and I'm saying it again:

You've gotta be careful now. You might be a victim. You can't say you're safe and free. Try observing yourself. Have you experienced the symptoms given above? If you do, then you have to consult us immediately before it gets worse. If you say "Not really,", prove it. If it occurred, it won't be our fault. It's up to you to find out yourself.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Bittersweet: Truth and Dare

"Nani ga okotta ka o o shiri ni narimashita ka?"


"Eeh... Watashi wa oboete inai kano sei ga arimasu."


The incident from the library was... traumatic and unbearable. 


I...I didn't know what to do back then. I was just sitting on the table with my friends when all of a sudden, this guy with a baseball bat and a girl wielding a knife barged in and started causing havoc. Smashing the glass windows, shelves, tossing chairs, kicking tables and knocking books. And then all these girls, including me, ran out of the chairs and started screaming. 


What scared me the most was... one of our classmates got killed.


I hid behind the shelves, careful not to be seen. That guy with the baseball bat smashed the shelves. He even attacked girls with his stun gun before he could find me. I escaped and found myself hiding under the computers before they were smashed, but I was unseen.


But how? Who were those two? Why are they attacking us like this? What did we do wrong?


"Hahaha! Anata wa mada nani mo shitte inai...."


I controlled myself from fidgeting.


I mean, seriously... what is going on in here?


When I walked out of the classroom carrying my books and my backpack, I saw that orange-haired guy talking to that brown-haired girl (whose hair is almost similar to mine) about something. Speaking of Ryuu, I wonder why a lot of people become insecure and repulsed when they see him, as if he's like a grim reaper about to suck in their souls? The other one, Aika, the raven-haired one, everyone thought she's like a psychic who can predict their fates. 


But then, I've heard rumors about the consecutive and mysterious deaths of two twins. Tsukiyoru Arashi and Yoake. 


Arashi hanging himself on the ceiling and covered in slit wounds. 


Yoake stabbing herself on the head several times.


I assume the culprits are Harugii Ryuu and Momoko Aika. When I heard Takashi-sensei tell everyone that they're purely born as official siblings, I had doubts. My own ideal image of siblings are identical eyes for example, or even the same hair color. But when I forced myself to spit it out on Ryuu's face, he just gave me that bitter look.


Ryuu has orange hair and green eyes.


Aika has black hair and blue eyes.


"It's all in the heredity of their parents." one friend told me. "All children are born with that, you know. They're not like they have identical eyes or hair or even skin. But observe their personalities. They're almost identical."


I don't see any similarities. But they're right. It depends on the heredity.


I was snapped out of my distraction when Ryuu walked past me. His eyes are still the same I can almost imagine a dark aura surrounding him already.


That's weird.


I haven't seen Aika since then. 


Oh, I remember. She was paralyzed from Kaori's stun gun, and the girl who ended up getting killed along with her partner Itou. Ryuu used some kind of a lethal injection. What shocked us is that instead of pressing the needle gently, he JABBED it abruptly like it's a dagger. He carried the paralyzed Aika in his arms and followed Takashi-sensei all the way to the Treatment Room.


I'm having no idea what's happening in this place. I mean, I just transferred here two years ago and my life became normal and stable. 


Knowing this is my chance, I followed him. I saw his green eyes look behind. I keep my composure as I entered inside the room. Ryuu suddenly disappeared in the darkness and I was left in front of Takashi-sensei's working table. 


I'm aware they might not be aware about my trespassing.


"Well, what do we have here?"


Uh-oh. I guess they are.


I turned around and to my big surprise, Ryuu was there standing a few meters behind me. He wore the same black lab coat that he and Aika wore when they were in the library. His green eyes looked serious, calm and cold. I stood erectly and bowed.


"Sumimasen," I apologized. "I'm sorry for trespassing."


He approached when I see him spinning a scalpel between his fingers. Its sharp tip shimmered with a seductive glow. His footsteps made their way to Takashi-sensei's working table but he didn't sit on his chair. He just stood there, pacing.


"So, what's your purpose?"


I bit my lip and swallowed. "Harugii-san, do you have something to do with the death of Tsukiyoru twins?"


Instead of twitching, he remained calm. His face is still the same. 


"To be honest, yes." he replied. "You have arguments?"


Damn. He figured it out.


"Matsumoto Hikaru-san," his lips formed a smirk. "The transfer student for two years. Looks like I'm not mistaken." he said in an almost mocking tone. 


"Harugii-san," I said. "What's the fluid you injected in them?"


Ryuu's smirk didn't get wiped out. He flipped the scalpel like a coin and caught it on his hand. He fished out two syringes from his lab coat pocket that are contained two colored fluids. A golden fluid. And a purplish fluid.


"Which one?"


I swallowed again. I pointed an almost trembling finger on the purple one. "T-that. I-is that the lethal injection?"


"Lucky guess," his smirk grew demonic. "Once injected, the victim will die within two to three minutes."


I gasped. Two to three minutes?!


He switched it with the other one. "While this is the drug which is mistaken for a barbiturate when it can actually make the victim commit suicide."


"Like?" I controlled my temper.


"Hmm... let me see. Choking himself with a rope. Stabbing himself on the head or some parts of the body. Claw on his own throat." his gaze turned on me. "You know what I mean. The fingernails dig themselves into the skin until it hits the blood vessels."


I reacted. "That's impossible!"


"It is!" he said coldly. "That happened before you even transferred here. Hikaru-san, do you have any idea about the dark history of this school?"


Dark history..?


"W..what do you mean?"


He snorted. "You've spent two years here and you don't have any slightest idea. You thought school life is normal here, but the existing students here are trying their best not to let the newbies know about it. It's up to them to find out themselves."


"What the heck are you saying?!" I yelled. "Don't you realize what you're doing? You're destroying innocent lives!"


His eyes widened like how a demon glares. "Innocent? Innocent, you say?"


Then he let out a cold and demonic laugh. It was the first time I heard him laugh but not like a maniac, compared to Kaori's. 


"You got it wrong, Hikaru. The victims we terminated are mostly guilty for murder. Let's face it. You don't know Yoake's background of assaulting several students and murdering them. Even Arashi did, only it's not included in the case report. A while ago, you saw Itou and Kaori caused havoc everywhere and they even killed few students. You think you'll define them as innocent?"


He... he's right. Murdering people is not innocent... but what they're doing... 


"You can't go around killing people with those injections! It's against the law!"


He snorted again. "Hahaha! Look who's talking! The victims are the ones begging to be killed. We even spare them by rehabilitating them. But a lot of them reached level-five syndromes. When that occurs, there's no stopping it. Their minds are dominated. Rehabilitation can be useless, because even if they promise they won't do it again, there's a chance they would."


Syndromes? Psychological diseases. I... I haven't thought of that.


All this time everyone suffered from those without even telling me?!


"Don't expect anyone yelling an epidemic is spreading, because it existed in this place for a hundred years. The lucky ones are not affected. The common effect of the syndrome or the disease is killing his close friends or innocent loves and then he'll end up killing himself."


"Whatever that is, you should stop right now. It's causing harm." I said abruptly.


"You know, if you have this position, would you dare try to reform the patients who are born psychopaths? Counseling them is useless. Because their minds are already distorted. Like I said, there's no stopping it. Even if you interpret your advice with feelings it won't work." Ryuu took the scalpel again and spun it around between his fingers like a mini baton. "And now you're begging us to stop? But what can we do? Even if you call rehab experts, it will only be waste of money."


"Heh," I snorted. "What's your point?"


"A  lot of former psychologists here have done that before. They only ended up bankrupted when they find out it was useless. They used medicines for nothing and ended up dumped inside the trash."


"Tch. You should know that Arashi and Yoake's souls are not peaceful because you killed them."


"Hold on, Hikaru." He held out one hand. "Duh. The twins committed suicide. I can tell you're absent-minded."


"I mean, you made them kill themselves!"


"Hahahaha!" he laughed bitterly. "See? You don't even know the entire story!"


I flinched. My heart pounded wildly.


"WHAT IS IT?! TELL ME!"


"Arashi died because he hanged himself and attempted to destroyed himself due to personal depression. The syringe found in his room was not ours. He stole it from here and injected himself. Yoake, guilty from her murders, became a victim of the psychological disease and forced Aika to inject the drug into her before she could protest. She stabbed herself on the head several times in front of Aika."


"Is it me or are you making them all up?"


His face darkened. He tossed me two folders. They landed on my hands. I read them one by one and saw the files with the official stamps and the genuine signatures. Even the actual dates. I read the files as my eyes widened. I felt my hands trembling.


...I was wrong. They didn't made them up. It... it was true. Ryuu and Aika did nothing...


"Now do you believe me?" he asked.


I avoided his gaze. I tried to endure this private humiliation but then I saw Takashi arriving on the scene. 


"Ryuu," he said. "Who's your guest over there?"


"Matsumoto Hikaru. She trespassed in here to file her complaints." Ryuu replied. "Sensei, how's Aika doing? Is she fine?"


Takashi nodded. "Of course. She was almost severely paralyzed from the volts. She can barely move. But she needs an estimated seventeen-hour sleep for her to recover completely."


Seventeen hours? Whoa... that's a long time length!


"As for you, Matsumoto-kun," Takashi-sensei turned to me. "I was listening to your conversation. You know... we know you can be superior to us but there's nothing you can do. You heard what Ryuu told you, and I hope you keep them in mind. Because you are already too late, there's no way you can stop the syndromes and diseases to spread and distort one's mind. Especially the ones murdering other students, they needed to be sedated or even terminated."


I fought back the tears that are stinging my eyes. "I...I'm sorry." I put down the two files. "I guess I'll be leaving. I'm sorry for trespassing..." I sadly went out of the room. 


They were right... there are tons of psychopaths. This school is inhabited with psychopaths.


Ryuu and Aika managed to control their senses... that's why they're not affected.


"Last thing," Ryuu chimed. "You have to be careful, Hikaru. You can be a victim right now."


"W-what do you mean?"


"Syndromes or even diseases don't choose victims or even days to distort one's mind. They can occur anytime. Careful, because you can be experiencing mental disorders right now."


"Uhmm... no, I'm really stable."


"That's good. But you gonna have to prove it."


Huh? What does he mean?


Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Bittersweet: Next Turn part 3

I hurriedly led them to the library where our destination should be. Wearing the special lab coats and wielding our devices, I'm sure we'll get them.

Takashi slammed both doors open. The girls started shrieking and running around the tables. The librarian braced herself under her working desk while trembling. When they saw us, the girls froze. Their eyes hesitated on Ryuu and Aika. They were the ones feared by many. They thought both of them can tell the dreadful fates awaiting them, and how they'll waste a lot of effort to fight them when they can't at all.

"There they are," Ryuu's green eyes went on the two ninth-grader suspects.

The guy's using a baseball bat to smash the windows, shelves, chairs, tables, books, even the computers. The girl captured a poor female student and stabbed her from behind. The victim coughed out blood and fell on her stomach. Meanwhile, a girl with blonde hair and yellowish-green eyes stumbled on the floor as the insane female targets her next.

Aika swooped in and pushed her abruptly, sending her staggering backwards and dropping her knife. She stood in front of Miyako, the blonde-haired one.

"What's your name?" she demanded. The girl grimaced.

"Well, you're Momoko Aika-chan everyone's talking about," she smirked. She stood up without picking up the knife. Everyone froze on their tracks as they watched in fear. "Hahaha! You absolutely look too cute to be Takashi-sensei's apprentice!" then the girl started mocking her with taunts.

"I'm only asking for your name." Aika said sternly. "You've spent enough time playing with everyone."

The girl smirked and flicked her hair. "My name is Hanamatsu Kaori. Now, you happy?" She placed her hands on her hips when her glance went on Ryuu. "Heh. Bet Harugii-kun here's your boyfriend, right?"

"Hanamatsu-san!" I yelled, interrupting their conversation. "You don't really know Aika-san's family name!"

Aika sighed and her blue eyes stared at me. "Satoko... please, I can do this myself..." I swallowed and stepped backward. She faced Kaori once again, her eyes glaring at her behind the lenses of her glasses. Takashi helped the librarian and ordered a few girls to take her to the clinic. Ryuu immobilized the guy, whom we just discovered that his name is Hirozaki Itou, in a ...unique way. Itou-san, the guy with the baseball bat, tried to fight against Ryuu with a stun gun. But then Ryuu grabbed his arm and squeezed it tightly, making Itou drop the stun gun to the floor with a loud clank. He fished the syringe out that sort of from hammerspace and stabbed the needle abruptly on Itou's neck. He yelled from extreme pain as he let out gurgling sounds.

The girls inside the library trembled. Because they saw Ryuu-san's unmistakable face as bitter and cold. He let go of Itou and let him fall on the floor.

Aika closed her eyes and reopened them. Her blank and bitter facial expression is not unusual. "Kaori.... do you even know what my family name is?"

Kaori pretended to be surprised. "Me? Ahaha! Momoko Aika, right? Nyahahaha! Nameless! AHAHAHAHA!" She let out a maniacal laugh while Aika just stared at her bitterly. The crazy female's laughs grew louder, almost laughing like a madwoman. Her teal eyes started to form nasty and insane orbs that proved she'd gone mad. "I've killed a lot of people than that little brat! You know?? That Tsukiyoru freak? Ahahaha! She stabbed her head several times for no reason! AHAHAHAHA!!!"

The memory is Yoake-chan almost shattered Aika. But she just shook it off. "You think bullying and killing people is fun?"

"Fun!" Kaori grinned madly. "Yes! Of course it's fun! Ahahahaha!" Her head almost twisted like how a zombie does. Her eyes are wide and a wide mad smile spread across her lips. "It's like my favorite game everyday! It's like playing hide and seek! It's like playing tag! Get it?!" She laughed again and stared at Aika with stammered eyes. "How about we play a game, Aika-chan?! You hide while I seek!"

I can see a stun gun on her hand. Guess Itou's not the only one owning one. Aika is too aware, so was Ryuu.
Silence filled the air. Kaori got her stun gun ready, but Aika wasn't moving. She just... stood there.

"C'mon, Momoko! If you won't move, then I will move before you die!" Impatient, she kicked a stack of papers, sending them flying everywhere. Aika shielded herself with her arm before Kaori could lunge onto her and attack.

ZAP!

Aika was sent falling on her back. Her arms were spread wide, her eyes squeezed shut and her teeth bared. Her glasses fell from her face so did the syringe she kept from her pocket containing a drug (different from the suicide drug they usually use), something more poisonous than the other one.

I stood in front of the electrocuted Aika before Kaori. "YAMETE!" Takashi-sensei is suddenly nowhere to be found...

"Get out of the way, kid!" Kaori yelled. "I'm gonna beat her up and tear her into pieces!" She pushed me away. She picked up the syringe and bent to locate Aika's wrist. She slowly starts to lean the tip of the needle while Aika just laid there, motionless and trembling.

"KYAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!"

Everyone turned their heads at Kaori. They thought it was the end of Aika-san. But then, the syringe was on someone else's hands.

Kaori is screaming her head off. A baseball bat is pushed on her front neck horizontally, choking her. Her fingers started to crawl on the floor to search for her stun gun, but Ryuu pushed it away with his foot. His face didn't show any extreme force of choking this girl to save Aika.

"Hanamatsu-san," he said grimly. "Let me ask you one question."

Kaori struggled from the baseball bat's choke and grunted. "Ggghh..!!!"

"You got me wrong," he said in a mocking tone. "Aika asked you earlier. Do you know her last name?"

The mad girl managed to speak. "I-it..s...Mo...m..ok...o!" But then the male redhead just smirked.

"That's her very first name before Aika. You're probably wondering what her last name really is."

I saw the blonde-haired girl Miyako clutching her left arm. Her left sleeve is stained in blood. Kaori slit her skin earlier before she tried to kill her next, but then Aika swooped in and only ended up attacked by a stun gun. I approached and helped her get up. But she refused.

"You're bleeding," I persuaded. "You have to get in the clinic right now."

Miyako rapidly shook her head. "No! I-I want to help Aika!"

I stared towards the still half-motionless body of Aika-san. Her glasses were shattered into pieces. I can only see her fingers twitching but her whole body trembling from paralysis.

"Y-you can't!" I retorted. "She's in a bad condition!"

Miyako pushed me away. Wincing from the pain, she forced herself to help Aika sit up. She flashed a smile and whispered. "A...arigato..." she said. "Thanks for saving me from Kaori..."

But Aika didn't answer. She remained paralyzed. But still, Miyako didn't give up.

"Do you know what her family name is?" Ryuu repeated his question while choking Kaori with the baseball bat. His green eyes still haven't got the bitterness erased from them.

"ITOU-KUN!" she yelled. But he laughed mockingly.

"Too late, Kaori." he smirked. "The little guy's poisoned before you tried to attack everyone else. You don't want to end up like him, do you?"

"USODA!" she shrieked, but this didn't stop Ryuu. "You only used a barbiturate!"

"Really?" his face darkened as he prepared the syringe containing the venomous and the poisonous drug. "Tell me your answer and I'll spare you."

I gasped. "What?!" But he snapped a glare at me to shut up. It's the sign he's up to something. He dropped the baseball bat and his hand grasped on her hair to keep her head from twitching.

"Two seconds."

"Ggghhh...!"

It took a couple of seconds of silence before Kaori guessed.

"It's Haruhii, right?"

Ryuu's face formed a half smirk. Kaori sensed victory. He fell silent but his eyes still had the same mocking stare. But then, he jabbed the needle into her neck, making her scream on top of her lungs.

"You traitor!" she yelled. "I got it right!"

"Huh. I was suppose to grant your wish." he said, pushing the fluid inside her. "You pronounced it wrong. So I'm gonna take it back (the wish)." He let go of her as Kaori grabbed her neck, twitching and gurgling. The fluid rushed into her veins as she screamed, until they are replaced by faint gagging noises. Her hand fell faintly on the floor.

Takashi came out of nowhere and knelt beside Kaori's limp body. He flashed a smirk at Ryuu. "Good job, Ryuu."

One of the girls reacted. "Aika-san is Ryuu-kun's sister?"

Takashi-sensei nodded. "Bet you didn't know. They have the same blood, the same family name Harugii, and the same heredity from their parents."

Miyako's eyes blinked. When she locked gazes with Ryuu, her heart suddenly skipped a beat.

He handed her a roll of bandage to wrap them around her wound. Miyako's hand trembled as she accepted it.

"T-thanks..."

"Satoko," Takashi-sensei called me. "Tell Ash to get in here immediately with two stretchers. Put Kaori and Itou on them while Ryuu will carry Aika and come with me to the clinic." he ordered as I nodded.

"Hai,"

He turned to the girls. "Ladies, it's alright now. You can all go out of the library and we'll try to fix this problem." He then turned to Miyako. "Don't strain yourself, Ichinose-san. You might as well come along to the clinic if you want to."

"Uhmm... no thanks," she smiled. "R-Ryuu-san gave me this bandage..."

After that, I stormed out of the library. Everyone emptied the area and promised themselves they'll keep quiet about the incident, and spread the fact that Ryuu and Aika were purely born as siblings.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Bittersweet: Next Turn part 2

Murder Case # 187

November XX, 20XX

In the same destination of the head-stabbing case, a boy assumed to be fifteen is found dead in his dorm room. The police found that he was holding a glass already shattered. A vial with a golden fluid is spilled beside a blood-stained knife. The corpse is hanging on his neck with his skin covered in slit wounds. The school psychologist and doctor, Takashi, also a Chemistry professor, examined the boy's wounds and said he found live maggots inside his body. It is assumed that the boy drank poison mixed with his drink, slid a blade on his skin and hung himself due to complete depression or a psychological disease.

~*~

Nah, I made a mistake. It's not related to the laboratory scene. I browsed through the file and found the snapshot of the boy hanging myself on the ceiling. His mouth is open and tongue sticking out. I saw the vial secured with a tape with the remaining droplets of the poison. I examined the contents until I found it was the same suicide drug...

I read the file again. That boy looked familiar. He looked identical to that girl. I lifted a page and saw the victim's file.

Name: Tsukiyoru Arashi
Age: 13
Height: 4'9"
Cause of death: Suicide
Siblings involved:
-Tsukiyoru Yoake (relationship: sister)

Great, now they got the guy's age wrong. His photo at the upper right portion of the parchment confirmed he's twins with the girl.

"Ryuu." Aika called after me. She was at the door. "Takashi-san's calling us to the examination room. Hurry."

I slammed the cabinet shut and brought the file with me. We locked the door behind before we left before those detectives notice anything about our sneaking in. Our footsteps went across the aisle when a door with a glass window captioned: EXAMINATION ROOM caught our glances. I gently twisted the knob open, and Takashi, psychologist, doctor and Chemistry professor, stood few distances away wearing his pure white lab coat. A stethoscope hung around his neck.

"What's that?" his eyes went on the file I was holding.

"It's Arashi's file," I replied. "They identified him as Tsukiyoru Arashi."

Takashi-sensei put a finger on his chin. "Tsukiyoru... sounds familiar."

I made it clear enough. "He and Yoake are purely related. They are twins."

He nodded. "I know. I browsed the file earlier. Both twins died from the suicide drug. You still remember those three tenth-graders from the lab? They thought it was a barbiturate." Thinking about the incident earlier almost made me want to break into an outrage. Takashi looked towards a metal table with the corpse of Arashi lying on it. His grey eyes are still open and are fading their color.

Sensei held a light glass plate on his hand, showing us the contents: live maggots drenched in dried blood. Just like from the file, he determined himself and examined his cuts. They were live maggots inside Arashi. Wonder where they came from.

"How did he get those maggots inside him?" Aika asked.

"I'm afraid we still have to find out." Takashi-sensei replied. "He severely cut himself and released the larvae that kept on crawling back into his wounds. I also saw visible nail marks on his skin, determining he must have scratched them."

"Gross..." Aika and I winced.

"So, where's the other one?" I asked, referring to Yoake, the corpse's twin sister.

"Yoake-san's body has been preserved. You probably know about the embalming fluid they pour on dead people. Once we are done with this little guy, the morticians will be on their way to groom him up and set the burial for both of them."

Aika suddenly frowned. "I guess it's my fault she's dead..."

"Aika," Takashi sighed. "Don't blame yourself. I know you're trying to help. But what really happened is Yoake suffered a psychological disease. She insisted on you injecting the drug so she can end her life."

"But still..."

"Past is past," I interrupted. "You can worry about her later. We're dealing with this little guy over here," I turned away without noticing there were tears stinging her eyes.

I approached the corpse of Arashi-san on the metal bed. There're still the visible slit wounds and those gross maggots crawling out of them. They knew he wasn't alive.

"What are we gonna do with him?" Aika asked me.

"Well, you know the picture. We're gonna have to wait for those morticians to groom this 'baby' up and embalm him." I say. "Hmm. Takashi-sensei says we got another victim on the loose."

Before I could continue, the door slammed open. A girl with brown hair and maroon eyes approached. She wore the lab coat almost identical to Takashi's. Her braided hair dangled behind her as she stared at us with hesitated eyes.

"S-senpai!!" she stammered. "S-someone --" Great. A perfect timing.

"Tell me where it is," I say. Mikagami Satoko's maroon eyes fixed on my green ones.

"H-he...he's at the library assaulting girls and the librarian." she reported. "I tried to stop him but... they were two of them!"

"Crud," Aika cussed. "This is gonna be harder than I thought."

Takashi-sensei arrived. When he saw Satoko, he knew about the news.

"Mikagami-san," he said. "Two more victims at the library attacking girls, right? A boy and a girl. Very different and unrelated to one another. Ryuu, Aika, come with me. Come along too, Satoko."

We all switched into our black lab coats as I slammed the file down on a table. Aika tossed Satoko's lab coat as she put it on, tossing her own white lab coat on the table that covered the file. Her expression is replaced from hesitant to confident like how she normally is. Takashi nodded at us as we prepared our syringes, tranquilizers and duct tapes. Duct tapes were normal for us. They are used to gag the victim to keep him or her from screaming.

We broke out of the room and left Arashi's rotten corpse inhabited by maggots.

+stay tuned for PART 3

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Bittersweet: Next Turn

Ever wonder what this is?
It's tough to face death. More victims than I've expected. Browsing through these files regarding the drugs we use as remedies. One file revealed the suicide of a girl named Tsukiyoru Yoake. It says here from the file "between fourteen to fifteen". Heck, she's only thirteen! I knew this girl before! She suffered from that abnormality syndrome. Reports included she assaulted four girls inside her classroom with the absence of the teacher. Our fellow comrade Mikagami Satoko-san have done the job of suspending her and confining her with us.

Aika has a lot of explaining to do. Hey, I wasn't gonna confront her. She's not the only culprit.

I browsed another file. I gave the Tsukiyoru Yoake file to Aika before the picture I ripped get noticed. I stared at the used syringe with the tiny golden droplets. Then my eyes went to the file I'm holding.

Hmm... kinda reminds me of what I did two weeks ago:

The last time I became brutal was that two weeks. Since Aika narrated her story of whacking an armrest on a brown-haired girl several times, I have to narrate mine. It's two times brutal than hers. [She told me she really meant to kill that person, but since she's inside a classroom, she can't.] And... this scene... she witnessed the the whole thing.

How is life when you're inside a Chemistry lab with your buddies fooling around while you just sit there and do nothing?
Me, that's how I behaved. Doing nothing and watching those bad-ass freaks make fun of the laboratory instruments.

I got myself distracted on the special suicide drug that I kept hidden on my pocket. A sealed syringe is placed on the table, my buddies mistaking me for converting it into a water gun. (What?)

Three beakers are placed on the table, labeled with roman numerals. The Chemistry professor advised us NOT to lay any finger on those. (Our Chemistry professor is actually the one assigning us for those suicide drugs, which we kept as a secret between us three, including Satoko.) They contained with the real suicide drugs that are needed to be tested. The students thought it was food coloring mixed with fruit dew.

"Ahahahaha! What do you call this again? Shot glass?"
"And hey, have you ever heard of this thing?" one buddy shows an eye dropper. "I thought I can use this to extract those white stuff from girls! AHAHAHAHA!"

Ugh! Green-minded assholes...

The small vial of the drug caught my attention. I ripped the seal open and tore the syringe's. When they say me, they were like "Whoaaa!" as if they thought I'm gonna do some experimenting.

"Ryuu-kun!" one of them cried. "If that is some kind of a barbiturate, why can't we try experimenting on this little hamster for dissection?"

"Shut up," I answered abruptly. "Or I'll put this on you instead."

The three of them awed and laughed. They knew me for this bitter personality.

My eyes went on the glass cage with lonomia, what they call "assassin caterpillars". They look like brown and white striped worms with green spikes that almost look like grass. The spikes are contaminated with venom. It is considered as nature's deadliest.

"Heeeyy, how about joining for us for a quick shot drinking?" another one suggested, giving me that toothy grin. "Nobody's around! Just the four of us! Three plus Ryuu-kun!"

"Hahaha! I bet this is his first time drinking!"

Stupid jackasses...

Then this stupidest thing happened to THEM. They snatched the syringe with the drug inside from me. They played with the object and squirted the content inside like a tiny fountain. Fortunately, none of them drank it. Otherwise, I would be dead.

One of them pulled out a metal bottle container containing... beer. What the hell are those guys thinking? They smuggled on a bottle of beer and now they're gonna share that thing and get themselves drunk inside the Chemistry lab!

Without realizing what's inside the beakers (the ones that are forbidden from the hands of people), they snatched those three and, ah hell, poured the beer on each. I stood up and slapped the bottle away, sending it clanking on the floor.

Aika arrived on the scene. Just when she stepped inside, the guys immediately got their eyes on her. One of them stormed towards her and grabbed her arm.

"C'mon, babe, join us!" he grinned. But Aika pulled away. She grimaced and stood beside me.

"Ryuu," she hissed. "What's going on?"

Before I could answer, the beakers are filled with beer mixed with the drug fluid. I bared my teeth in rage.

"HEY! Sensei told you twice not to touch them!" I yelled. "The real drug samples are in those!"

The one with the messy hair smirked. "Oh really? You mean the food coloring mixed with fruit dew? Hahaha! You've got to be kidding me!" He gulped on the drink, using the beaker as a glass. Aika's blue eyes widened in shock. Soon, the other two idiots are starting to gulp the contents down their throats. Aika swooped towards them.

"No!" she cried. "You brainless idiots! Why did you --"

The guy in front of her gave her an abrupt push. "Why do you care, ha?! Can't you see we're having a feast here?!"

I winced and slapped him. "Oh yeah? Do you even know what the drug does? I told you before, didn't I?"

He laughed, almost drunk. "Haha! It's only a barbiturate, dude. It doesn't mean any harm, right?"

I smirked. "Really?"

The guy tasted his drink and licked his lips. When he saw me smirking, his toothy grin is replaced by a surprised glance. The rest of them did, too. Aika just sighed.

"What does he mean?" they asked, exchanging glances.

After a couple of seconds, the guy suddenly grabbed his neck. He staggered around the area and heading towards the sink. But then his elbow knocked the glass cage, sending it falling down and crashing on the floor, releasing the assassin caterpillars now crawling. Because that idiot dropped the drink, he slipped on the floor and his arm... hit the caterpillar's venomous spikes. The venom rushed thoroughly in his veins, destroying his red blood cells one by one until they spread.

That is when I saw blood on the spot where he was hit. Tiny holes on his skin that are drenched in blood. He screamed in pain. His arm felt burning and immobilized. Then soon, while still screaming, I can see blood oozing from his nostrils... then he starts vomiting blood until his shirt is stained in blood.

The two other idiots dropped their drinks and started choking. Aika skipped a heartbeat. She's not liking what she was seeing.

"Ryuu, do something!"

"No," I stared at her from the corner of my eye. "Let them suffer. That's what they get from violating the rules." I picked up the syringe from the floor, I can see the remaining contents since they played with it. Now I'm staring at the guy with tears -- bloody tears -- streaming down his eyes. He was there, lying on the floor and lifeless. The assassin caterpillars continued to crawl on the floor until Aika and I wore the lab gloves and snatched tweezers to put them inside a new glass cage. Aika cleaned up the mess of the shattered glass, except the small pool of blood. The two other idiots gurgled blood from their mouths, now lying lifeless on the floor and the beakers shattered.

"Ryuu, what are we gonna tell sensei..?" Aika asked with concern. "We're so dead if he finds out..."

"Don't worry about them, Aika," I said. "We didn't do anything. We tried out best to stop them, but they prefer violating the rules."

~*~

What happened next was Sensei arriving in the lab. When he saw the three corpses, he wasn't shocked or surprised. He already knew what happened. I explained the other details as he nodded intently.

"I knew it," he said. "Those three boys did violated the rules. " He held the metal bottle on his hand. "This is a beer, right?" I nodded. "Ryuu, Aika. Keep those acids with you. They need to be experimented later after class. And we've got another victim on crisis."

(Note: The part of the assassin caterpillar is true. These are one of the deadliest species found in Brazil that is known to have killed more than one thousand victims with its venom)

Assassin Caterpillar (Lonomia Obliqua)

Still have doubts? Watch this sample video yourself. 

Stay tuned for the next murder case... with the same character pov


Saturday, September 17, 2011

Bittersweet: First Turn

The moment I entered the classroom, notice how my classmates are looking at me. Huh. They look scared. They are scared because they don't want to get their lives taken next.

What? Many have done that before. And nobody cared, anyway.

Have you ever wondered about those serial killings from school? A female corpse suddenly found hanging on her neck and her wrist slit open? A young girl lying on the floor drenched in her own blood with a knife dropped beside her? And another girl lying naked on the isolated part of the school garden and devoured by ravens?

The targets are like only very few people. The rest are just the victims killing themselves. I don't laugh like a maniac in front of my victims like I've won the battle already. Maniacal laugh is so amateurish. The truth is, it's not unusual when you see corpses or even murder/suicide cases around your environment.

When those girls are bullying me, tossing the book around and won't let me get it back. They expected me to get angry and mad. But my main target is that brown-haired freak. Since she started it by snatching my book and taunting me. Tossing my book around with her goody-goody friends just for fun. Ha-ha-ha! Whatever...

She thought of teasing me more. But then, I stood up and grabbed an armchair. I grabbed her by the hair and dragged her across the room, suddenly sending the other desks and chairs tumbling on the floor and the books scattered everywhere. I don't care how injured she got. Without hesitating, I slammed the armchair's backrest on her several times in front of our classmates, who just watched in fear and horror.

I threw the stupid armchair away, watching the freak trembling before me. I didn't meant to kill her. Teaching her a lesson, you presume.

I took the book from her hand and walked out, my classmates looking behind me and not daring to approach the injured freak I "bullied" back.

Murder Case #152

July 1X 20XX that a girl, assumed to be between fourteen to fifteen, is found bleeding to death at the school basement. No one else was around but the girl. According to the police, a knife was found lying beside the corpse. Her eyes were wide open. The suspect of this case is assumed to be a girl, but no one knows who she is since there were NO witnesses, no CCTV cameras, no security guards in the crime scene. There were no clues to be found like bloody footprints except the knife. One more clue is a syringe, proved to be pricked on the victim's wrist and the contents pushed inside her veins. It was defined to be a drug. A drug that caused the girl to kill herself by pounding the hilt of the knife on a wall, pointing the blade to the side her head. Then she continuously pounded her head at the east direction and pressing the blade rapidly on her head, splattering blood everywhere until she fell on her back.

Nobody was convicted in this murder case. The suspect is still unknown.

~*~

Ryuu and I sneaked inside the detective room and pry on the files shoved inside the cabinets. We browsed the files like catalog cards. No one else is around. We found the first file. The one with the first murder case of yesterday. The files were ALL murder cases. They reached more than one hundred and fifty five. Ryuu flipped the pages of the found case file as he read.

"Tell me," he said. "What does the syringe contain?"

I simply replied. "It's some kind of a drug that is the remedy of individuals suffering from abnormal syndromes. Like what you're reading, it prevents the victim to kill an innocent. She kills herself instead."

"You were holding it before you got there, right?"

"Hmm," I nodded. Yes. I was holding the object. That girl went insane and she has gone nuts murdering people for no reason. Ryuu and I were assigned to put remedies on those who have syndromes. The psychologists say suicide will end it, even though how unusual it sounds.

He read the file thoroughly. It wasn't the first time this has happened before. No one knows we are the culprits. Everyone has no idea it was us doing all those.

"Do you know who the girl is?" Ryuu asked, his green eyes fixed on my blue ones.

"Hai," I nodded. "I assume she's... Tsukiyoru Yoake-san. A seventh-grader."

My brother smirked and ripped a picture from the file. It was the snapshot of Yoake's corpse drenched in dried blood. I could see her grey eyes fading their color.

"Huh." he snorted. "Guess she made a very clever idea of stabbing herself on the head."

I just smiled. My eyes went on the tiny stain of blood on my skirt. I ripped that stained edge. I don't care about my skirt anyway, since it's already tattered and covered in despicable dirt.

Right after he read the file, his green gaze went on the syringe from the crime scene. It has the remaining droplets of the contents earlier. Golden fluid... Ryuu took it on his hand and stared at the sharp point of the needle intently.

"I've learned about this on a special Chemistry experiment." he said. "You remember? You were with me that night."

I nodded again. "I've said it before. It's a drug. A barbiturate, maybe."

"No," he shook his head. "It's made to kill oneself. More like a depressant."

Unfortunately, none of them defined what kind of drug I used.

We proceed to the next case file. Ah, this looks interesting.

Bittersweet

You know... what you're about to see might give you the seizures. If you can't violence, don't read this. Go on, read IF you want to. I'm not forcing you.
If you are fund of reading gore and violence, better look now. You'll need all the help you can get.

Ooh, how about watching this sample series of anime clips? You'll know if you've watched this anime already. But if you don't, find it out yourself.

After watching, imagine yourself into this condition.

Maggots in your body. Uncontrollable scratching and still the maggots are STILL in your body.

Hahaha! I like that concept! If only that kind of stuff can happen like today. YES IT CAN! Maggots CAN enter your body. People MAY suffer from psychological diseases when doing violent acts. People CAN get syndromes. People CAN hit their enemies with armchairs when inside their classrooms. Baseball bats CAN be weapons for self-defense aside from knives, daggers, whips and guns.

Based from my current favorite anime, Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni (When the Cicadas Cry), it gave me enough inspiration for violence. Look, I'm not growing up to become an assassin. I just want to see how violence can lead to many causes. Hatred. Anger. Wrath. Greed. Pride. Avarice. Jealousy. Rebellion.

But honestly, whatever the situation is, violence won't solve anything. True.

But since I'm talking about fantasy here, it's time I could share some ideas of mine regarding acts of violence. Based from my two main characters, let me show you how the meaning of bittersweet personality means. Bittersweet (for me) doesn't mean bitter at first impression then suddenly turns back into warm atmosphere. No. What I mean is: Bitter atmosphere and the sweet sensation of getting injured and killed.

Go on, can you keep it up? Stay tuned.
You'll need all the help you can get.